They're buried inside a box under the stairs

I fucked up the other day. I had one thought and intention in my head and what came out of my mouth turned out to be hurtful and ignorant. Very VERY few things in my life do I regret. This is one of those things. If I had the choice to go back and take the words out of existence and forget their very meaning I would. But I can't. And now, because of how inconsiderate I can be, the love of my life is hurting. She hurts every day because I'm too stupid to realize the weight of my words. I only meant to mention something to demonstrate my unprovoked insecurity, but it ended up causing pain.

So now I'm left with this: what's done is done and I can't go back and change it. So all I can do is be thoroughly grateful that she's chosen to stick with me, even with what I've done. Even with the hurt she endures daily. Even with the fact that I can't tell her I love her, or think she's beautiful, or want nothing more than to share every moment of my life with her, without it bringing up ideas that those words aren't hers.

I wish I could give her even the slightest sense of how intense my love for her is. I would trade anything for her to know that she's the only one who gets my love. The only one I could even dream of spending each and every day of my life with. And that she alone is the love of my life.

I feel incredibly heartbroken right now, and I just have to give her time.