Day Ten: One Confession

The first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I go to sleep is just how lucky I am to be able to share my life with my beautiful Sarah.

Day Nine: Two Smilies That Describe Your Life Right Now

1) :-D

2) :-O

Day Eight: Three Turn Ons

1) If I'm being honest, one of the three is definitely her looks. Her flawless body, beautiful eyes, gorgeous smile, perfect hair, sexy tattoos, and all of it.

2) Honesty - to me and others. I love a girl who's not afraid to truly tell me how she feels, and doesn't let the world get the best of her.

3. Shared excitement about life.

Day Six: Four Turn Offs

1. Lying, cheating, stealing. Don't.

2. Constant negativity. I'm a firm believer in if you don't like something, do what you can to change it. If you can't change it, accept it and move on.

3. Constant hatred. It's okay to hate some things, but overall it's very unattractive.

4. Being secretive. I'm a very open person. You should be too.

Day Six: Five People Who Mean A Lot (In No Particular Order)

1. Sarah Beth Camp. My world. The one I want to share the rest of my life with.

2. Mom, Dad, Mary, and Joe. The best parents and step parents ever.

3. Leah, Lauren, and Tyler. My sisters and brother. I have a blast any time I'm with any of them.

4. Noah DeCarlo. My dude!

5. All of the HB dudes.

Day Five: Six Things You Wish You'd Never Done

1. Pretending that I dated a girl who was the biggest mistake ever.

2. Getting a tattoo for that same mistake.

3, 4, 5, and 6. 1 and 2 again.

Day Four: Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot

1. Sarah. Everything and anything about her. She's my entire world, and thus my thoughts usually involve her.

2. Work. My business involves me constantly taking phone calls, taking to finance companies, helping out salespeople, and working with customers. I'm usually thinking about what needs to be done next.

3. Food and drinks. Seriously.

4. Music. Playing it, listening to it, writing it.

5. Buying a house. It's something I've ALWAYS wanted to do. I almost bought one years ago, but luckily for me (although I didn't know it then), I had a bad thing on my credit that stopped me.

6. Yellow cars.

7. My family. I wish I was around then more often.

Day Three: Eight Ways To Win Your Heart

1. Be yourself. If I'm spending my (short and valuable) free time with you, it's because I want to be with YOU, not some person pretending to be someone I want to be around.

2. Be honest. Lying and dishonesty will instantly make me hate you.

3. Don't keep too many secrets from me. A few is okay, but again, if you're the person I'm sharing my life with, I want to know as much of you as I can, because chances are you'll know all of me.

4. Compliment me when you can, but only if you mean it.

5. Tell me when I'm doing something wrong or something that you don't like. It might bum me out for a second, but then chances are I'll do everything I can to fix it.

6. Sit on the couch with me watching tv or movies. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's one of my favorite things to do. It's calming and just takes my brain away from the chaos that my life usually is.

7. Talk to me about the future. What you want it to be, what I want it to be, and what it will be like together.

8. Eat with me. I LOVE to eat.

Day Two: Nine Things About Yourself

Oh God, how do I come up with nine things...

1. I have a love/hate relationship with music. One day I'm completely in love with everything about music. The next I can't find a single song I want to listen to. One day I would kill to go to a solid show like the ones I went to when I was a kid. The next day shows make me want to stab myself in the eye with a spoon.

2. I am insanely passionate about business and personal finance. It's not even a money thing. I think it's more of a competitive spirit/seeing something grow kind of thing. It's just incredible to be able to take something and build it.

3. I am head over heels madly in love with a girl who just over a year ago I never thought I'd get the opportunity to confess my feelings for.

4. I go from super confident to self-conscious about 30 times a day.

5. I am very much a Dave Ramsey fan. I have almost all of his books, financial peace university, etc. I listen to his podcasts. I go to his events. Love it.

6. There are about a bazillion things I want to learn to do. Dance, snowboard, golf.

7. My obsession with energy drinks and soda is probably the most unhealthy thing I've EVER had.

8. I like wearing dress clothes much more than casual clothes. I just feel more confident and occasionally sexy in them.

9. I've eaten Taco Bell about 980432748798 times, thanks to tour.

Day One: Ten Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People Right Now

1. You are the best thing that's EVER happened to me.

2. I wish we hung out more often.

3. I truly hope you don't regret your decision.

4. You better do well.

5. Please don't take everything.

6. You've become my best friend, and you'll never know how much I appreciate that.

7. You should probably get back to me, it's super unprofessional that you're not.

8. Get your product in my belly.

9. You're ridiculously adorable and I love the hell out of you.

10. Hurry up and get here so we can leave!

Go listen to Greene Reveal

I am so beyond lucky to have an amazing understanding girlfriend. In the wake of such stupidity on my part, she's been so wonderful about it all.

They're buried inside a box under the stairs

I fucked up the other day. I had one thought and intention in my head and what came out of my mouth turned out to be hurtful and ignorant. Very VERY few things in my life do I regret. This is one of those things. If I had the choice to go back and take the words out of existence and forget their very meaning I would. But I can't. And now, because of how inconsiderate I can be, the love of my life is hurting. She hurts every day because I'm too stupid to realize the weight of my words. I only meant to mention something to demonstrate my unprovoked insecurity, but it ended up causing pain.

So now I'm left with this: what's done is done and I can't go back and change it. So all I can do is be thoroughly grateful that she's chosen to stick with me, even with what I've done. Even with the hurt she endures daily. Even with the fact that I can't tell her I love her, or think she's beautiful, or want nothing more than to share every moment of my life with her, without it bringing up ideas that those words aren't hers.

I wish I could give her even the slightest sense of how intense my love for her is. I would trade anything for her to know that she's the only one who gets my love. The only one I could even dream of spending each and every day of my life with. And that she alone is the love of my life.

I feel incredibly heartbroken right now, and I just have to give her time.