Reinventing

I haven't been feeling inspired to write in here much lately. I'm not sure whether it's being so busy (but let's face it, I've always made time before), or just a supreme lack of motivation. If it's the latter, I at least know it isn't spilling over into other portions of my life. I'm feeling more motivated than ever when it comes to my relationship, work, and life in general. I've pushed myself to the limit and back. I feel incredible about my life.

So what has caused this lack of inspiration? I don't know.

What I know is I'm feeling a change coming on. I'm feeling ready to push forward in a way I never have before. With that, I may be taking another break from TTTM. My fellow blog buddies all seem to be taking a vacation or getting too busy to continue to write and I miss their wonderful words of encouragement. Well this is my stepping out.

I'll probably be back.

The Possimpible

Strange. I don't know why it is, but I'm having a super insecure day today. Yes, ladies, guys get insecure too. It's the most random thing right now, and it's not one particular thing I can pinpoint. I've just been feeling like I'm not awesome today. Things are going super awesome lately, and I'm stoked about it. Just felt like putting it out in the universe. Anyone else ever sometimes have a day where you just feel unattractive, unwanted, whatever?

This is not a revolution 'til we say it is

Ah, contentment. It's a strange feeling to have. Generally I'm on a rampage of unsteadiness and get lost trying to balance my world. Right now I don't feel that at all. I love the place I've arrived in the past few weeks.

For starters, I've begun a new job that I'm absolutely crazy about. Basically I give demonstrations of a really cool home cleaning product that helps with allergies and asthma in peoples' homes. I can't believe I'm in sales again, but this is so much better than any other sales job I've had. People ask me to buy. They love the presentation and I get paid super well for what I'm doing. It's really a breath of fresh air to actually make some good money for once. There's a ton of room for advancement too. If I keep up the pace I'm working at, I could have my own office in a few months. MONTHS. How crazy. Right now I'm the top sales guy in my office and I'm heading up the ranks in the country. I'm hoping things stay steady or continue to improve.

Because of that, I'm in the market for a new car. Mine is so close to its death bed. It makes noises that would scare the most talented of mechanics, and my job requires me to drive all over the place. I really can't take the chance of my car breaking down in the middle of nowhere and missing a possible sale. So, I've been looking, but haven't quite found what I want yet. I'm not in any super rush, but I'd like to find something as soon as possible. Ideally I'd love to get a few year old Jetta. I've found a few cars in my price range that would be suitable, but this is going to be a big purchase and I want to LOVE what I get.

Things in the apartment are better than ever. Sarah and I are learning how to live together. I know when she needs her own time and she knows when I need mine. Sometimes we eat dinner together and other times we do our own thing. My confidence in us continues to grow. It's amazing how every day we learn more and more about each other. The dynamic is so different now that we live together. We can be together without being up eachothers asses. We can spend time together while doing different things. I'm completely in love with living with her. Our apartment is really coming along. We haven't painted yet, but we've finished most of the unpacking. I put up a few pictures that she wasn't ecstatic about in the bathroom and she was kind enough to let them stay. Life is really good right now.

The band is in a little stagnant period. Our record came out and got mild numbers. We haven't been getting any tour offers worth pursuing, so we're just doing random one off shows. We have a cool show in Syracuse with Story Of The Year, which should be cool. A few college shows to help pay off band debt. Other than that, we're taking a much needed break. We still talk constantly and are making plans for fall, but we're taking a little time to focus on the rest of our lives. It's actually great. It's going to take a lot of stress off of the next time we tour. Our biggest problem is we need to find a new van since ours broke down in Long Island a few weeks ago.

Lucky we're in love in every way

Life has been a big ball of complete insanity lately. I haven't had even a few minutes to sit and type a blog entry like this one. I suppose that's a good thing. It means I'm not stagnant. Not wasting away the hours, even though at times I definitely feel like I am.

Sarah and I moved in together. We have a cozy little apartment with my best friend in my favorite neighborhood. It's far from being done, but we've made significant progress in the week we've lived there, especially considering this week was our cd release week. More on that later. We still want to paint the living room a beautiful color called "Fresh Melon" by Glidden (go check it out). We're missing a few end tables. Our room isn't fully unpacked and my side of the closet looks like a mess. But all of that considered, we're stoked on how it is coming along. It's incredible to spend every night with her. We've had our little spats and moved on from them quickly. In a strange way, this is proof to me that this is meant to be. Normally, fights in relationships with me signal the end. I don't handle it well. But with her, it's worth working out. I have the desire to confront issues when they arise. We work them out fairly quickly and move right along. She's gone through one of the toughest periods in life that someone can go through and we've gotten through it together. I fall harder for her every single day.

Our new cd came out on Tuesday. It's been selling incredibly well. I'm super anxious to see how the online sales and in store sales have gone. We won't hear until Wednesday, so suffice to say we will be freaking out until then. First week numbers are the most important in a band's career. We've pushed so hard hoping for success. Our whole team is so supportive, and I can't believe the reviews it's been getting. People are super positive about it and I'm incredibly grateful. Now it's time to figure out what's going on with the next tour!

When you look at me

I forgot to mention two other blogs you should absolutely check out. I post on both:

This Is What Our Love Sounds Like
Sarah and I take turns on my tours updating this. We post a song a day that makes us think about eachother. One of my favorite blogs I've ever been a part of.

No Place On Earth
This is my photoblog. I try and post a new photo every day, but sometimes there just isn't anything interesting to photograph. I am by no means a professional.... or even a hobbyist. I just take pictures of things I find interesting on my iPhone.

Tremble, little lion man

I'm home for a few days from tour. Tour has been... hectic. We're having a really good time, but for some reason I feel like this time we've all gotten a lot less sleep and everyone's a little grumpy. This two day break is definitely much needed. I'm spending the next two days with Sarah, which makes everything fantastic.

Speaking of which... I realize I just dropped the fact that we're moving in together without any details. There's not a whole lot to it really. Before we ever started dating, we had been joking around about the idea of moving in together as roommates. We figured we had a lot of fun hanging out and both wanted an apartment, so why not get one together? I'm sure a lot of it had to do with our desire to be together. Regardless, once we started dating, the idea came up again. We were laughing about it, but realized it was something that didn't seem silly. I told her obviously if we were to live together, we're not having separate rooms. We know that for a lot of couples, it would be too soon. Neither of us are the types to live life by other peoples' rules. We move on our own schedule. Our lives are based on what we feel is right. We're incredibly happy spending every minute we can together. We move in July 1st and are so excited. We've got some awesome plans for our bedroom and I'm sure there will be lots of pictures and updates here once we get going. Our roommate is going to be my best friend, Liam. He's also the other singer of my band and someone I lived with for over five years. I haven't been so excited for something in a long time.

Your sweet moonbeam

I'm in Mobile, AL. I don't know why, but I never pictured this place being such a busy, eclectic city. We spent some time in the mall promoting our band today and there were tons of rocker kids who had heard of bands we compare ourselves to, and a few who had even heard of us. I'm blown away. We're staying in a swanky hotel room tonight because of the awesome kids who bought cds in the mall and helped us afford it. We're struggling in the money department, but then again who isn't?

I've been having an off day today. A lot of little things happened that have frustrated and worried me, but I'm doing my best to fight through it. I've begun to notice a shift back towards negativity in the world and I'm not a fan. I'm an optimist by nature (for the most part), so I like to see the positive in most situations. I can never understand people saying they hate the world and everyone in it. Granted, I'm sure they don't exactly mean it, but it still makes me sad. I've had rough times where life didn't seem like it could get any worse and I did my best to get through it. I did, and now I'm completely happy with my life with a few small exceptions.

We have a stop at home in a week and I get to see Sarah. I'm out of my mind excited for it even though we've been gone less than a month. Once I go home from this whole tour, we're moving in together. She's doing all the paperwork now and we're just waiting on the results of the application. Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly.

Swallowed in the sea

I'm in an incredibly good and optimistic mood right now.

I can't pinpoint the source of my optimism. There is a lot of good in my life and today I'm just feeling that pretty strongly. I wrote in my offline journal today for the first time in about two months and it felt great. Ended up writing over three pages, which is abnormal for me. When I'm updating frequently, my journal entries are short. I feel like so much of my bright mood right now is because of Sarah. We spent the last few days/nights together and it was wonderful. Saturday she came along to our performance at Bamboozle. She hasn't seen us play in quite a long time, so it meant a lot to have her at such an important show for us. One of my favorite things about Sarah is how amazing she makes me feel about myself. She's always dolling out compliments about how attractive she finds me and how I help her stay on the ground when she feels like she's losing her grip. I love hearing those things. Hearing her say them always makes me smile like an idiot. We're gearing up for an even longer period of time away from eachother since this next tour is almost two months long. She doesn't seem worried, and I'm certainly not. It was hard to be away from her for so long the last time, but our relationship is strong already. She showed no signs of wavering, and so I'm confident in this one, and the next, and the next.

I confronted my usual source of stress (money) head on and I feel a little better about it. Writing things down, making lists, organizing the already organized... those things always help me feel like I'm in control. Even though sometimes being in control for me doesn't mean I'm where I'd like to be, at least I know that whatever is happening is a direct result of actions I've taken. I'm a bit of a control freak, I guess, and I like it that way. With the band, I've lost control of so much since we got signed that I think I need to latch onto whatever I can and hold on for dear life. We have a tour manager now who is pretty competent. He handles the money, which is scary for me. When I handle the money, I know where it's coming from, where it's going, and how much (or how little) we have left. At least then I can ration it out and know what we need to do. Now, I feel like a fish out of water. I'm trying to come up with ideas of how to be more involved without stepping on toes.

I've begun studying for that dreaded massage therapy board exam again. I've promised myself year after year after year that it would be different and yet I never pass or even get around to taking it. I want to say "this is the year... I'm going to study and I'm going to pass," but I've proven myself wrong so many times that I don't even want to say it now. The books that I've shoved into my brain time and time again sit mockingly on my bookshelf and the student loan payment that I make month after month are just too much. I can't handle knowing that I put so much money and time and stress and emotion into something that still hasn't paid off in any sense other than that I can give Sarah a wonderful massage every now and then. As happy as it makes me when she tells me she loves my hands, I need more. I'm passionate about massage therapy and the importance it has in turning things around a little bit today. Healthcare is increasingly focused on pills and reactive treatments as opposed to leading a healthy lifestyle and more natural solutions. I want to be a part of that, whether the band is successful or not. So, onward I march.

I suppose that's all for now. I miss writing so often, but time to write is so limited. Hopefully I can squeeze in some time here and there.

No matter how far the view, I still always look up to you

Life is good. The past few days have been a good chance to take a break. Five weeks of tour usually doesn't seem like much, but this time it took a lot out of me. Then, to go straight to recording... well it was a lot. It was amazing to have Sarah there with me while I recorded. She saved my life. Recording was so stressful and our time down there was plagued with drama. Not drama between us, but just all around us.

We got added to Bamboozle, Skatefest, Bledfest, and Rockin Roots Fest. All of those are going to be amazing. I'm most excited for Bamboozle. I've been wanting to play it since it was called Skate N Surf Fest way back in the day. We're playing the same day as Paramore, Drake, Kesha, Saves The Day, and tons of others. I'm really stoked.

I'm still waiting on getting the mix back from recording my cd, but the band's cd is being mastered as we speak. I'm incredibly proud of both of them. I'm hoping this is our year. This is the year we step up to the point that we're shooting for. We'll see what happens.

Things with Sarah are better than ever. We spent that entire week together and never got sick of eachother. It only grew our desire to be together. I took her home a few days ago and already we're jonesing for eachother. Tonight I'm picking her up and it feels like it's been a month since we've seen eachother. Some people would consider that a bad thing... like dependence. But I don't see it that way. I just see it as desire to spend time with the girl that I love. I can get along fine when she's not here. I have to. I'm gone so often that we have to be okay with a little physical distance. Never emotional distance though. I couldn't be happier with that piece of my life.

It doesn't matter what you're doin, just keep it movin

Almost done with tour!
Losing motivation to write in this blog. This may be the end.

This one's hopes won't die like the others

So, I'm having a blast on tour, but I'm feeling a bit homesick today. Being out on the road is tiring. It makes you miss some degree of normalcy. I'm dying to hold Sarah in my arms right now and tell her how happy she makes me. I ache for a night in my comfortable bed. The idea of a home cooked meal is the sexiest thing in the world... besides that beautiful girlfriend of mine. Tour has something like eleven days left and then I get to spend a wonderful six days in Florida with Sarah. I'm recording a new solo ep and she's accompanying me on the trip. It's going to be quite amazing. We're going to get a hotel for one of the nights so we can spend an entire night wrapped up in eachothers' loving arms. Once that's done I'm home for a few weeks, some of which I'll be working.

Whatever the case, I'm loving life right now. Most things seem to be going how I want them to be. I'm pretty broke, but working when I get home should cure some of that. Plus Sarah and I started an internet business together. It's having a bit of a rocky start, but I'm confident once it gets going it will provide us a decent bit of money for the apartment we're going to get in August.

Tomorrow starts the week of California. I adore California. It's an amazing state full of character. Each individual city is a unique experience and I'm so excited to be in so many of them. And then, the thing I'm most excited for, PORTLAND. Oh man. The vegan capitol of the US. I'm going to the Herbivore Store to spend pretty much the last of my money. Couldn't be any more stoked.

Yeahhh...

Anyone still reading? Haven't seen comments in a while. That is all :)

Tell me that you'll hold on

We're stuck in Diamond, IL. Last night on the drive from Chicago to St. Louis, our van started shaking crazily and refused to go over 20 MPH. We took it to a shop here in lovely Diamond and waited anxiously to discover what was wrong. Turns out there's a problem with the exhaust valve and the manifolds are cracked. Awesome. A $2,000+ repair. This puts us in a terrible spot. We have to miss two of the shows on the tour and going $2,000 in the hole is a brutal loss. Every day I have to remind myself that this will pay off. It's a test to see how bad we want it and we continue to prove it. We've gone through most of the difficult things that touring bands go through and we're still here, somehow. I love the dudes in my band for persevering when so many others would have quit. We can't quit. Not now. We've worked too hard and invested everything we have into this band to give up now.

Sarah is the ultimate supporter. It makes my heart beat wildly to know she's there feeling every bit of pain that I feel. This morning when she woke up and read my texts that updated her on our misfortune, her heart sunk. Her mood mimicked mine. She's an angel. Even though I'm states and states away from her and even though she has to wait weeks and weeks to see me, she still urges me on. She supports my dreams and tells me never to give up. When we succeed, she rejoices and when we fail, she hurts with us. She's everything I've ever wanted and I couldn't be more grateful. We talked for about two hours last night and I loved every minute of it. I still can't get over how much I enjoy just hearing her voice. I feel like we share every piece of our lives together. We've been together for only a month yet feel like we're so much a part of each other. She's so much of the reason I keep pushing on.

So here we sit, waiting for our van to be fixed. Watching tv, messing around online, and being generally unproductive. The internet at our hotel room is painfully slow, so there won't be any movie watching. I've done as much band business as I can, so that's the end of it. I'll be finishing my awesome UFC book tonight and that leaves me stuck. Well... here's to doing what we truly love!

Dey Took Ar Jerbs!

Random advertisement for our tour posted today. Sorry about that. Haha. Let me explain.

Yesterday we were walking around a mall in Florida when I got a call from our manager. He doesn't call often (usually texts or emails), so I knew it had to be a big deal. I answer the phone and he says "TIM... IMPORTANT!" I'm stoked at this point. He told me we had to be in Toledo, OH in two days to join up with the tour with Jonny Craig. WHAT?! Jonny Craig is amazing, and this tour is the biggest one we've ever had the opportunity to be on. It's such a huge deal for us. We freaked out for a bit, then headed on the 15 hour drive north.

Now we're in our hotel in Kentucky waiting for the tour to start and I'm anxious as all get out. We've spent the majority of the day swimming, hanging in a hot tub, and promoting for the tour. I think it goes without saying how much I miss Sarah. I know she's struggling sometimes with me being gone, but I gave her good news today. After this tour, I'll be off for about three weeks. She'll be with me in Florida for some of it. This was unexpected. I'm very happy.

Holy huge tour

CATCH ME ON TOUR WITH JONNY CRAIG, TIDES OF MAN, AND MODSUN!!!

CHECK OUT OUR PAGE FOR MORE DETAILS!!!



03/13 - Toledo, OH @ Headliner's
03/14 - Elgin, IL @ Mad Maggies
03/15 - St. Louis, MO @ Fubar
03/16 - Tulsa, OK @ The Marquee
03/19 - Houston, TX @ Meridian
03/20 - San Antonio, TX @ White Rabbit
03/21 - Dallas, TX @ The Door
03/22 - Lubbock, TX @ Jake's
03/24 - Albuquerque, NM @ Launchpad
03/25 - Phoenix, AZ @ The Old World Brewery
03/26 - San Diego, CA @ Soma Sidestage
03/28 - Modesto, CA @ Modesto Virtual
03/29 - Stockton, CA @ Plea For Peace Center
03/30 - Fresno, CA @ Starline
04/01 - San Francisco, CA @ Bottom Of The Hill
04/02 - Orangevale, CA @ The Boardwalk
04/03 - Portland, OR @ Satyricon
04/04 - Seattle, WA @ El Corazon

I wanna do what bunnies do with you

I miss Sarah quite a bit right now. I'm sitting in a bar in Myrtle Beach waiting to play a show for a bunch of drunk people who don't really care that I'm going to play. They'd much rather listen to a Godsmack cover band or something. That's okay. Paying dues still. It makes the end goal so much sweeter if we meet it. Paying dues is definitely something we're used to and almost comfortable with.

Tonight after the show we're taking the 8 or so hour drive to Tallahassee, FL. I was hoping to see my friend from www.unorthodoxhome.com but I don't think we're going anywhere near her. Bummer! I'm so excited for Tallahassee. We have so many awesome friends down there. Our merch guy, Gary, and I are getting How I Met Your Mother tattoos while we're down there. I'm getting the yellow umbrella with a pineapple. So stoked! I'll probably actually party this time. We've been at a bar for the last two days but I really haven't felt like partying.

I've noticed that I don't notice girls anymore. I mean I notice them as other people in a room, but since I've been with Sarah, other girls are invisible. I don't see them as attractive or unattractive. I'm so absolutely infatuated (in a good way) with Sarah that I don't even care about anyone else. This is usually how I know if I'm in something legit. If I'm in a relationship and I look at other girls, it means it's not gonna work out. Sarah is still handling me being gone so incredibly well. We have phone dates when we can, but she doesn't freak if we don't get to. We text when she's not working. She makes sure she's not bothering me at shows (she never is) and I make sure I'm not interrupting her friend time. It's the most perfect situation I've ever had while on tour. I'm pretty crazy in love with her.

I wonder if you guys are getting sick of reading about this. Haha. I don't have much on my mind other than this band and Sarah. I'd really like to find a new book to read while on tour, but I'm very particular about what I read. I only like business/personal development books. I read all of my blogs (Dating Is My Hobby, Unorthodox Home, Snippets and Rambles, This Is Not A Heart, and I Will Teach You To Be Rich), but in terms of offline reading, I don't have much. I just found out that Ramit Sethi is giving a speech at SXSW, which we're playing, but it's a few days before we get there. Damn!

"I love you"s run into eachother

Sarah and I (that's her name, by the way... Sarah) are moving so quickly. I'm crazy for her and she's crazy for me. Normally I'm the biggest freak about people taking things slow and waiting, but being this sure is foreign to me. We've fallen headfirst into something neither of us expected to find and neither of us has any desire to slow down.

I picked her up Saturday night after our last home area show. It was a super late night and she kept telling me to wait until Sunday morning, but I had to see her. Nothing could have stopped me. I gathered up the very last bit of energy I could find and drove to her house. The night was wonderful, as all of them are. We didn't stay awake very long once we got back to my house. I adore waking up to her beautiful face next to mine.

Sunday was a day of running around and making sure everything was ready for tour. She got to meet my dad and stepmom who absolutely love her. I couldn't have asked for a better reception from them. We watched some random television and discussed (in great detail) movies she'd never seen. She sat through it like a champion. Afterward, we went back to my mom's house and had dinner with her. She gets along with my mom so well. It's one of the things we're so excited about - we love eachother's families. On a drive out to pick up some last minute things from Wal Mart, she started to get quiet. She was looking up at the stars a lot and I caught her staring at me a few times. I knew she had something on her mind. We had many things to talk about and giggle about Sunday night, and stayed up as late as possible to milk every last second together. She cried a little about me leaving, but did an amazing job of assuring me that she is confident she can make it through. I've never felt this solid that a girl means what she says.

Monday morning rolled around and we both woke up moving slowly. We knew we'd be saying goodbye for a month and neither of us was ready to do so. As I finished packing the last of my things and she sat by watching and dreading my departure, I knew I had finally found a good reason to come home. We laid there cuddling eachother for a minute and in our usual joking fashion, she held her arms apart and said "I hate you this much!" To which I replied, holding my arms apart, "I love you this much!" It was a big deal for me. She looked at me, almost in disbelief, kissed me, and told me she loved me too. It was a little bit of a relief hearing her say it back. It's always scary to put that huge statement out there... not knowing if you'd get it in return. But I got it back, and I know she meant it.

She's been handling tour very well. I know it's difficult and she's been lonely, but I'm grateful to have her staying strong. I miss her every single day. I know that in less than four weeks, I'll be coming home to her. We have a week in Florida planned as soon as I get back and I can't wait to spend all that time with her.

In band news, I'm in Cleveland, OH right now. Tour has been interesting so far. The first show was at one of the coolest clubs I've ever played. It was three stories, two bars, and monitors everywhere so you could see the band. Not a huge amount of people, but we sold plenty of merch and it got us to Cleveland. When we got out of the venue, we realized that our trailer was messed up. We drove to Cleveland and went through two days of pure hell with it. Finally, after the most stressful tour start ever, we got it fixed up for significantly less than we thought. I'm definitely feeling better about everything. Our show tonight was solid. We packed the Hot Topic pretty full and sold more merch. We spent the night making pasta and watching tv. Tomorrow we're off to another stop in Ohio before making the trip down south. I can't wait to see our friends in Tallahassee.

Time for phone date night with the girlfriend.

Love love love love

We're back on tour so posts will be few and far between. xoxo

The way we live

That's my band in Alternative Press Magazine. They named us one of 100 Bands You Need To Know In 2010 and gave us a full page spread! Absolutely amazing.

Come on and have your way with me

This is my last week at home before going back on tour. I feel like there's so much left to do and I don't feel like come next Monday I'll be ready. I'm probably just freaking out because this isn't where I thought I would be when we were recording. It's so soon, and I'm still the one booking tour. I thought for sure someone would be doing it for us by now. Oh well, still paying dues. We've been paying them as this band for four years now and it looks like we'll continue to do so. It will make success so much sweeter.

S spent the whole weekend with me. It was absolutely incredible. I picked her up Friday when she got out of work and it was like a reunion... even though I saw her a week ago. We get so incredibly excited to see each other. The first hug seemed like a couple that had been apart for years. What a weekend. We spent time with my friends so she could get to know them. She met my mom, who likes her a lot. She told me that she's confident in us and sees this going the distance. Of course this makes me a happy guy.

This week involves lots of working my butt off to try and set myself up for financial success when I come home from tour. I don't want to be freaking out because I have no money to pay my bills. I want to come home and be able to relax. I'm definitely seeing success. I'm very pleased with life overall right now. There are absolutely some things I'd love to change, and I'm sure life will throw some road blocks at me... but I'm walking with a little spring in my step right now.

Happy happy joy joy

I'm very pleased with everything right now. Before S and I started "talking", we had planned to go to my show together on Valentine's Day. I had an acoustic show at one of my favorite places to play, so I knew it would be a good time. Obviously, S and I started "talking" and we decided to make further plans along with my show. I decided that I wanted to do something sweet for her at the show without being too lame. We had discussed many times how she wished I would cover "Paperweight" by Joshua Radin... so I spent the time and learned it for her. It was a little thing, but I knew it would mean a lot to her.

Fast forward to yesterday. She and her mom arrived shortly after I did (I know, her mom came! How cute!). We chatted for a while and watched the other performers. After a few minutes, she gave me a card and told me to open it, but before I could, she said to wait until later. Once it was time to go on, I played through my set, and when I got to her song, she was so happy. I could tell she was fighting off tears. It was incredibly cute. After I got off stage, she gave me a huge hug and told me to open my card. The card ended with her asking me to be hers. Absolutely adorable. Of course I said I would. This was a huge step for her. She had never been the one to ask a guy out, and had never gotten into a relationship with someone before getting her dad's approval of him. I was ecstatic.

Later on, I met her dad, stepmom, and sister. We had an incredible time. They loved me and I loved them. We talked about how her dad builds acoustic guitars (amazing) and they follow the Dave Ramsey plan (THE TOTAL MONEY MAKEOVER!) just like I do! We stayed for quite a while just talking. Eventually it started to get late, so we made the hour drive to my house and spent the rest of the night cuddling and smooching and watching How I Met Your Mother. I'm happy to report that after watching for five minutes she became hooked and watched many more episodes.

It was an amazing day and an incredible night. Waking up next to her was the perfect way to start off the day. I look forward to many more mornings spent with her in my arms. I feel like I'm a kid again with my first girlfriend. She excites me and keeps me on my toes. She's incredible. We've talked about the future but of course haven't made plans. She's not afraid to tell me what she wants and isn't afraid to give me what I want. She's strong and confident, but not arrogant. She doesn't know quite how amazing she is, but I plan on helping her see.

I wanna be the one to put it in a song

Ah I love feeling this way. When things happen that I'm not stoked about, I can shrug them off so much more easily because S is in my life. I know we're in that honeymoon stage, but I don't care what it's called. I'm pretty sure it's just called happiness. Last night at her house, we were basically completing eachothers' thoughts.

I keep typing sentences and then deleting them because I realize how silly I sound. I feel like I'm in Dumb and Dumber... "I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy". Hahaha. She makes me feel all warm and gooey inside and I love it. No one has made me feel like this. Isn't that the cliche line that everyone says when they get involved with somebody new? Oh well, I don't care. We're both incredibly happy.

It may be early, but we've been discussing a future. Not planning one, just trying to determine if it's a fit. I'm tired of getting into relationships and down the road finding out she doesn't want to ever get married, or she doesn't want kids, or she wants to move to Georgia. There are certain things that have to be in my life in order for a relationship to work out. They're all in place with S. She wants the same things, or at least similar things. We're not rushing into any of them, but it's good to know that when the time comes, it won't be some long, painful discussion where we discover that we're all wrong for eachother and we had an expiration date.

Sunday I'm meeting her dad and she's meeting my mom. I'm a little nervous to meet her dad. I'm vegan and he's a hunter/fisherman who doesn't have any respect for the vegan lifestyle. It won't make me angry, I understand that that's what most people have known their whole lives. I just really don't want him to dislike me because of it. Sure, we don't agree on that, but I'm hoping we will have plenty that can bring us together. Who knows. My mom will love her though. She's just as nervous to meet my mom as I am to meet her dad.

Ah the fun of a new relationship.

No need to wonder what's been on my mind

She. Is. Friggin. Beautiful.

I give up, I let you win

Today I decided to archive my previous entries and start fresh. I feel like this is a new me. I haven't felt so excited about life in a while. I've kept this blog going longer than any one I've ever kept before, so I want to continue writing here, but I want to move forward. The past entries are a great insight into my life over the past however long, but now I want to start a new chapter. This is it.

I spent more time with her yesterday. All day in fact. We had planned it since before we started "talking", but it was better than imagined. It's an hour drive to her house, but well worth it. We putzed around for a while - ate dinner with her mom and step dad, watched the SU game (GO CUSE!), and talked forever like we always do. She had prepared a surprise for me, so we hit the road. She surprised me by taking me to the newly opened FIVE GUYS! Oh man, any guy will tell you that's the key to his heart. I absolutely love Five Guys and her bringing me there was such an amazing idea. While we were there, some poor guy fainted and smashed his head on the ground. They took him away in an ambulance. She was so scared, which was kind of cute. I could tell she was really shook up.

After Five Guys, she took me to her favorite spot that I could tell was beautiful when the sky is clear. It's a spot overlooking a bunch of towns and at night, with clear skies, the lights on the houses and buildings meet with the stars. It was definitely beautiful, but she was more beautiful to me. We talked about more intensely personal things. We shared more with eachother than most new couples do so soon, but we feel comfortable.

Leaving was awful, again. I hate walking out that door. But the real world calls and today I'm back to work. I'm grateful to work for myself so I have the opportunity to stay with her late and sleep in a little before hitting the phone.

Today I've already gotten more done than I thought I would by the end of the day. I have a ton to do all week, but most of what I could do today is done. There are some things up in the air with the band, but that's usual. Tour starts March 1st and I couldn't be more excited. We haven't been on the road since summer. It's my favorite thing in the world. We're not sure how long we'll be gone just yet, but I'm hoping we can lock onto some other tours once this one is done.

I don't want to forget come daylight

I was already in the area, so I had to see you. We had just been given the okay to consider something more than friends. I asked you for your work address so I could pick you up at midnight, when you got out. You didn't know it, but gave me directions from your house and then had to go back to work. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to get to your house. I found your best friend's phone number on Facebook and she happily gave me directions to your house. I got lost a little, but it was worth the drive.

I wanted to surprise you with a cute little gift, so I went to the flower section of a grocery store. We'd never really discussed your favorite flower, so I went with a classic: a single red rose. It might be a little cliche, but I hoped you would find it romantic. I grabbed some candy since I figured we would be a little hyper and checked out.

My heart was beating out of my chest when I pulled into the parking lot that's across the street from your work. I was nervous that it wouldn't be the right one and you'd think I was stupid, but it wasn't and you wouldn't have anyway. When you walked up to my car, I hugged you and felt so satisfied there holding you. Your friend from work smiled a huge smile and walked to her car. You got in and your adorable face lit up when you saw the rose that was waiting for you on my dashboard. I reveled in your happiness the whole drive home. You told me over and over how cute I am and I loved every time.

When we got to your house, you went in and cleaned your room fanatically while I watched and poked fun. You told me to stop because you just didn't know what else to do. We sat there, laid there, stood there... talking about ourselves and the big things and the little things. I asked you the most important questions in the world - your favorite color, your favorite flower, and your favorite candy. I now know those things and will always know them. If I'm lucky, I'll find you a red M&M with the design of a rose on it. So many times I couldn't take my eyes off of you and I wondered if you were creeped out by it. A few moments after I wondered that, you told me that you missed half of a story I told because you were just looking at me. I felt instantly better.

Slowly but surely we found ourselves coming closer together. You tickled me and I pretended to hate it, but I just loved being around you. I gave you a back rub that you seemed to love. We found our way into eachothers' arms over and over again. I kissed you on the head and the forehead. You buried your head under a pillow and told me you hated me. I called you out for lying to me. I joined you under the pillow and we just laid there for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a minute or two. Then I kissed you. It was the perfect culmination to the beautiful dance we'd been dancing all night. I saw stars. We kissed over and over again and I have never been so happy just being in one place with one person.

Eventually, our night had to come to an end if I was going to make it home in one piece. Leaving you was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. As soon as I got out the door, I regretted it. I knocked, you opened it, and I kissed you one last time before I drove home. We texted back and forth the whole way home, and right up until bedtime. You fell asleep before I did, but I slept like a baby.

It was a perfect night with a perfect girl. I'm smiling all day.