Tell me that you'll hold on

We're stuck in Diamond, IL. Last night on the drive from Chicago to St. Louis, our van started shaking crazily and refused to go over 20 MPH. We took it to a shop here in lovely Diamond and waited anxiously to discover what was wrong. Turns out there's a problem with the exhaust valve and the manifolds are cracked. Awesome. A $2,000+ repair. This puts us in a terrible spot. We have to miss two of the shows on the tour and going $2,000 in the hole is a brutal loss. Every day I have to remind myself that this will pay off. It's a test to see how bad we want it and we continue to prove it. We've gone through most of the difficult things that touring bands go through and we're still here, somehow. I love the dudes in my band for persevering when so many others would have quit. We can't quit. Not now. We've worked too hard and invested everything we have into this band to give up now.

Sarah is the ultimate supporter. It makes my heart beat wildly to know she's there feeling every bit of pain that I feel. This morning when she woke up and read my texts that updated her on our misfortune, her heart sunk. Her mood mimicked mine. She's an angel. Even though I'm states and states away from her and even though she has to wait weeks and weeks to see me, she still urges me on. She supports my dreams and tells me never to give up. When we succeed, she rejoices and when we fail, she hurts with us. She's everything I've ever wanted and I couldn't be more grateful. We talked for about two hours last night and I loved every minute of it. I still can't get over how much I enjoy just hearing her voice. I feel like we share every piece of our lives together. We've been together for only a month yet feel like we're so much a part of each other. She's so much of the reason I keep pushing on.

So here we sit, waiting for our van to be fixed. Watching tv, messing around online, and being generally unproductive. The internet at our hotel room is painfully slow, so there won't be any movie watching. I've done as much band business as I can, so that's the end of it. I'll be finishing my awesome UFC book tonight and that leaves me stuck. Well... here's to doing what we truly love!